I'm Always Caught Off Guard

and left stumbling around, coming to terms with the current melodramas then reassessing what happens after the fact and thennn... laugh like mad.

That's really all I can ever do-- laugh at my life.

Psychologically, I believe if we keep insisting to ourselves that we're happy, it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. I came off such a good week and then Sunday was just plain nuts, and it knocked me down a bit but I soooo want another great week!!!

On a random term of HAPPINESS, I'd like to point out some things that are pleasing me lately:
+ I love how I can say "I love you" and "I am happy" in four different languages now.
+ I love building relationships with people; discovering their quirks, hidden talents and life stories; meeting up and going out, unaware of the potential impermanence or superficiality but still enjoying the moment.
+ I love how I can swathe myself in layers and luscious scarves and not sweat.
+ I love rediscovering music that I had forgotten on my iPod.
+ I love, love Tokyo Police Club for everything they're worth, the Twilight New Moon soundtrack, jamming out to reggae in the most chill manner possible, and the new sound of The Maine.
+ I love that my school has had organized social activites the last two weekends so there was non-stop funfunfun and raucous dancing and behavior. Love it.
+ I love feeling sufficiently full, but not overstuffed.
+ I love raspberries with hot fudge. Or caramel.
+ I love finishing my work in a timely fashion so I don't set myself up for a stress-filled disaster. Currently failling at that, however.
--> What are you loving at the moment, what's making you beam with HAPPINESS? :D

Despite the fact that I have a lot of work to tackle and conquer, directly after lab I persuaded two of my friends to watching a showing of Les Choristes by the French Club. There were only four other people watching it (hey, best kept secret) but I was sooo pumped! If you do not recall, it ranks as one of my favorite movies and the soundtrack is simply divine. I wish I still had chorale-capable vocal chords to reach pitches like theirs. The movie put me in such bonheur.

My friend Ally accompanied me to the student center so I could buy junk food -- raspberry Milanos and vegan snickerdoodles -- to cope with some emotional upheavals and that reprising parent-derived conflict. I should not be binging to deal with stress of any sort butttt... I didn't have dessert with my dinner tonight, I'll be running and biking tomorrow, and now I'm just binging on tea? Is that excusable?

Ahahaha now back to work,
and to allow myself to drown in tea.

Favourite Food

"Let the sugar melt down your throat, 'cause you know it's sweet getting old."
- "Favourite Food", Tokyo Police Club

I had a spectacular 18th birthday.
I was actually awake the first two hours, finishing a paper on globalization!! No worries though, I was with my best friend here, then my best friend from home called and finishing the paper was my first accomplishment as an adult :D. I went to bed soon there after, to be woken around 7:40 to these odd scratching noises. Then my roommate came over and tapped me, with terror in her eyes and whispered, "What is that noise?!" I didn't know for sure, but I told her it was probably one of my friends taping a sign on the door.
An hour and a half later when I woke up for real, I discovered a lovely drawn card and tons of chocolates on the door. Hahaha and I told that friend the paranoia she inspired. It was a very sweet gesture nonetheless!
So throughout the day I recieved happybirthdays and compliments on my bright dress thag contradicted the dank weather of the day. My friend Ally and I rode our bikes into town after class and she treated me to lunch at the lovely Blackbird Cafe. We had more class but I finished my homework for today early in order to enjoy the day. Practice was annoying because my teammate and I couldn't find any open bikes, yet we had a great time passing around paper hearts in a team circle to give anonymous love. Mine was filled with comments on positvity, smiling and being a generally happy person.
I ate dinner with my team and made a deelicious oreabanananut sundae! Then I reconvened with my friends and we jammed into the crowded student center to watch Inception. I hadn't watched it since the drive-in over the summer and I was STOKED. Haha, trippiest 2 1/2 hours of my life :D.
Ahhhh so to my absentminded dismay, I lost two of the bday cardsmy friend gave me. Left them SOMEWHERE, but I always forget things like that :\. Bahh, it's an adult skill I need to work on.
So I pretty much went to bed at the end of my eighteenth birthday, still floating from all the love. Even though Facebook is superficial and non-commitmal, I truly adored all the wall posts. Thanks to everyone for the wishes!!!

I'm back on the bike this morning, practicing now instead of at 3 because I have to work the hockey game concessions. Life is hectic, it takes a lot of effort, but damn it sure feels good to be an adult. :)

The Witching Hour

First day of November, and a chilly one at that. I knew October would pass quickly, but I finally am going to be 18 this Thursday!!! I have two classes and practice, then I work hockey game concessions Friday and Saturday night, yet I swear I'm going out to do something fun to celebrate! Thankfully at this point I have some amazing friends who are eager to go out as well. We'll see how this week pans out :).

So Friday I spent the night in Syracuse at a XC teammate's house because us and the other girls who aren't in the top echelon of runners went to Hobart & William Smith College to watch our girls race. Besides that both the men and women's teams won the Liberty League by a long shot, my parents came out to watch Saturday because the race course is a mere 45 minutes from home! It's odd seeing my parents and leaving them; my mother still maintains her typical neurotic worrying, while my Dad always emphasizes how much he misses me. I call them pretty much everyday. My mom also gave me a loaf of zuchinni bread and cookies!

It was only 6:15 when we arrived nack at St. Lawrence. Obviously I missed Friday night's Halloween festivities, but I wasn't going to skip Saturday! I was in a dilemma for a costume because I did not do ANY previous preparation, though with the gracious help of various friends, I became.. A lax bro!!!!
Hahahaha yup, I was bro-in' it out as a lacrosse playa as all the girls wore as little as possible; the one night looking like a skank is acceptable!
Here's one of my girl Ally and I: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=31850249&l=56b9f9a2a8&id=1290654630

So while everyone around me was pregaming and mixing drinks, I held strong and sober. The cross-country teams make a collective decision for a dry season at the end of September every year, and this is law until Nationals (beginning of Thanksgivig break). Basically if you drink during this period, you're kicked off the team. However, I have not had this much fun in ages! Various clubs sponsored an outdoor tent party and an indoor rave, and I was just able to ley loose with indiscriminate dancing and happiness-- while also being perfectly coherent and used by everyone else's drunken fiascos. I was mostly impressed by the campus wide enthusiasm; I believe I saw every costume imaginable!
[If you're reading this sans photos, check my Facebook! Tonight I'll update the post with images.]

I slept over in my friend Ally's room and Sunday we worked allllllllll day. Now it's Monday evening and I have lab right after my practice here, then three papers to write. But I'm satisfied about the weekend. Here's to all the high feelings that will pull be through the week! :D