HOLD UP, where were we again?I keep sporadically appearing and making false promises, but my first year of college is finally finished now -- my blogging commitment will potentially be reignited.
I lied on my room mate's bed and took one last shot of my side of the room, before tearing it a part. Packing was nauseating, the walls become so stark and I'm bluntly reminded of all the foolish things I accumulated through the year. I loved my room! And my roomie. *sigh
Goodbyes are hard for me. I tend to become an emotional wreck or numb myself down and combust later. I apologize to you, Mom and Dad, because departures make me anxious; my anxiety manifests itself in bad temperament and tears. I just really know how to attach myself fully to things, then not ever want to let them go. These last few weeks have been some of the best of the year ... I was [am] just so, so happy.
I'm thankful for all the people I've met who have helped make me this happy, and it simply pains me to see our college lives dissolve into summer. Because I'm studying abroad in France next semester, I might not see some of them until January. A few others are going abroad in the spring, so that's over a year before we'll be together again. At the same time, I am exuberant for the opportunities we are seizing; I mean, we all still need to take our own paths to grow. Regardless, am absolutely assured that we have enough love for each other to stretch beyond oceans, language barriers and time.
At the moment, I'm in my bed, two small dogs restfully drifting in and out of sleep as I blog and listen to cds. Twenty-four hours ago I was galavanting around campus with Justin, our typical atypical debauchery at hand; I hate how long it may be before that happens again. It's utterly bizarre now, with bags and boxes and reminders of my dorm engulfing my room. I have barely made an attempt to unpack because my parents and I are heading off to Florida in... oh, six hours. I'll be there for the week then buckled down in my town for the summer, working to make as much money as humanly possible.
That's where I'll end this for tonight, though I want to re-emphasize what an unbelievable year I had. I feel like I've come so far, and things could not have panned out any better.
Enjoy your weekend, and I'll be around soon :)