No VPN, No problems

Departing from Peking Capital Airport, flying over Northeastern China then arcing over Russia, the Pacific, Canada, down to Toronto with a speedy transfer over to the U.S. gate, hopping Lake Ontario in a tin-can plane to Rochester.

Sunday night, 16 hours and several reverse time zones later... Home.  

It's familiar, and extremely comfortable.  I'm not as jarred as I imagined, but drained from my off-schedule sleeping.   The sun rises through a clear sky, but a bit later than it would in China.  No smoke.  No smog.  Traffic is sparse.  No one honks.  Sometimes the roads are completely abandoned.  Silence aside from the birds.

Water from the tap has never tasted fresher.  My dogs happily snuggle.  I can lay on my carpeted floor.  I can walk barefoot around my backyard.  I need the gears on my bike (like, a lot).  I don't need a VPN to check my e-mail or post a blog.  I'm fully literate again.  Please, sorry, excuse me.  I have to remind myself that it's pleasant to smile at strangers again, and engaging them doesn't have the potential of a cultural misunderstanding.  I love catching up with family, and friends one by one; they lead the conversation with questions and reactions, while I can probe into their lives these last several months.

My closet is brimming with clothes, the floor scattered with amassed stubs, receipts, books, and souvenirs.  I've stocked up the kitchen with a much-needed trip to Wegmans: baby spinach, tomatoes, orange juice, fresh mozzarella, blue corn tortilla chips and some Chinese touches like chili sauce, tofu, noodles, and those little koala-shaped-chocolate-filled cookies.  I don't have all the equipment or ingredients to truly recreate Chinese cuisine, so I'm doing my best not to abandon the exciting flavors I've grown so accustomed to.  All of these foods can actually be found in China, especially at high-end grocery stores like my guilty pleasure City Shop, but now they don't cost an arm and a leg.

The greatest drawback is my resumed lack of mobility; the hills of the Finger Lakes aren't efficiently navigated unless you have a car.  This is to say, I'm basically a hermit at home.  It's a beautiful region, yet with different points of interest than a city.  Nevertheless, I've missed this dearly and embrace the wide, untamed space with happiness.

(Un)fortunately I have a lot of cleaning and purging to do, particularly a closet overhaul that doesn't just include my clothes.  After living for a while within the confines of 2 suitcases, I've realized that all the stuff I own is not necessary, that you can where the same shirt or pair of shorts a few times a week, and that collecting more just holds you back.  Much as I love my things, memories do not need tangible connections.  A lot of sentiment and recollection has faded over the years, so I'm trying to ditch that stuff.  When I come to live on my own, I'll need a small dwelling-- that should be the physical restriction on my possessions!  My brain still isn't in full gear, but I think there needs to be a Memory Management class for all the experiences I never want to forget.

Upcoming post: Chinese food photos I've collected on my iPhone :)
Listening: "The Night Out" by Martin Sloveig

慢走

It’s 6 PM here in Beijing, and in 22 hours I’ll be on a plane heading back to the United States.  These last 5 months have felt like a lifetime, an alternative reality I never imagined living but am craving to experience again.  It’s incredible that I had the opportunity to live in two of China’s largest cities, while engaging new people, places, lifestyles and ideas.  The age old question, do I like Shanghai or Beijing more? – I can’t quite answer.  Both have their advantages and disadvantages, and I think it comes down to what you want out of the city. 

The goodbyes are always weird, and I really dislike them.   I said goodbye to my roommate yesterday because he’s headed south to Guangzhou and then to Hong Kong to renew his visa.  It’s been a pleasure living with Tom, and this hutong apartment has been integral to my time here.  
Although my internship had moments of office drudgery, I appreciated the change from working at a café.  I really enjoyed my colleagues, especially the lady lunch group and exchanging different cultural lessons.  It’s been a good test for a potential future in the professional world, and I was able to interact with a different ex-pat community here, rather than just students.  I passed my bike keys to Fang Fang, said good bye to each of them quietly with a slight lump in my throat, then left the office yesterday for the last time.
One of my teammates from frisbee, ZeFang, is a native Beijinger but goes to school in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.  I instantly bonded with her over the fact that until middle school, my family went to Lancaster every Thanksgiving to visit Hershey Park and the tax-free outlet malls.  Sometimes we’d make the trip during the summer to utilize the Amish talent in construction, horses harnesses, carts, delicious jams, and dogs.  Anyway, ZeFang and her parents took me out for a feast on Wangfujing Street, and I just am constantly amazed and appreciative of the generosity shown by my Chinese friends.  Even though society is experiencing disjuncture between the old ways of life and the post-reform, capitalistic life, this kindness to share the best of China with new friends seems to be a backbone.  ZeFang and her dad are even going to drive me to the airport Sunday!  I told her that she has to come to my house this coming  year, or we’ll have to visit Lancaster (about a 6 hour drive south).

Later, I met a someone at a birthday party, who lives 15 minutes from Honeoye in Canandaigua!! I have found a few people from the North Country, Syracuse, and even suburbs of Rochester, but this was simply fantastic.  She’s just begun 5 weeks out of a 2 year stay, so how bizarre it was to relate about a place that she’s said goodbye to for a while, and I will be say hello to again. 

Then this afternoon, I played with my Beijing summer league team Crazy Bad for the last time, and hopefully imparted enough spirit that will carry them to the championship at the end of the summer.  Frivolous as it may seem, playing Ultimate has had an immense impact on my perspective here.  The cultural differences fade away when you're diving for the same flying disc down a grassy field.

Life here is by no means perfect, but I already miss China.  At the same time, I have to go and finish my time at St. Lawrence, which is another mind twist I haven’t processed.  I’m already envisioning the shock of return, after a 15-hour flight that launches from one side of the world to another without much time to process in between.  Though I don’t leave with any strong regrets, there is still so much to do here.  

China, I’m not done with you yet.  I know I'll be back someday. 

Listening: “Here’s to Now” by Ugly Casanova, from the deliriously wonderful soundtrack of 180 degrees South

(the internet is slow today, so the photo vomit will come in another post)

China and What It Means to Me

I've thought about writing this for a while now, unable to decide if I should or not.  It's multi-faceted; I can't even articulate it well to myself.  Yet I suppose if I've invited you along for the ride, I should try to explain why going to China means so much to me, rather than simply a semester abroad.

Well, I can't write that part off-- studying abroad is a tremendous privilege.  At St. Lawrence, our small college of 2,400 students has an off-campus study participation rate hovering around 55%, and is even higher including summer programs.  It's natural to arrive at school and begin planning which part of the world you want to explore for the semester or year, after the first few days!  Especially for juniors, there's such enthusiasm for breaking out of the SLU "bubble" for a while, then upon return appreciating campus so much more.

However, for many others, studying abroad isn't second nature.  In 2010, the U.S. had 20.3 million students of higher education, which includes associate's degrees, 4 year schools, graduate school, etc.  According to the Institute of International Education, there were 273,996 students abroad for the 2010-2011 academic year.  I guess that gives a sense of where my peers and I fit in the larger context of privilege with our educational opportunities.  And for me, being able to study in a foreign country for the second time!  

I was one of the students that knew exactly which programs I had to take advantage of as soon as I was accepted to St. Lawrence: France and China.  In retrospect, France was dissatisfying in the sense that our program was so well established, that we were essentially coddled.  Having a group of 12 students in the same classroom, on every trip together, interacting daily, with the same recurring conversations-- was exhausting.  I wished for greater immersion with other French students, in spite of the institutional, social and cultural boundaries.  I did achieve that a bit, exemplifying the importance of taking risks beyond the comfort zone and reaping the rewards.  Regardless, I had an incredible semester, tested my confidence and intuition, and realized my capabilities (sort of).  I have deep fondness for la vie francaise, so I'll definitely keep going back.

China, on the other hand, may prove to be an entirely different level.  
I was adopted from the People's Republic when I was two months old, at the glorious blessing of my parents  who are from Buffalo/Rochester/Honeoye/currently Florida.  I was abandoned at a hospital without any records, documents, notes; whisked away to an orphanage and fortunately placed under the foster care of a British missionary.  I've known my entire life that I was adopted, but the circumstances are merely up to speculation.  Growing up has included the defense of my cleft lip surgery ("Why are your lips so weird?" quipped second graders), the frustrating moment when my middle school science teacher scolded me for not filling in the genetic inheritance section of my homework (and he knew my parents, so...), and the sobering insult from a Chinese student at college who blatantly said that because I cannot speak Mandarin, I am not really Chinese.  That one hurt.  But it's true: I am American, born Chinese.  This past fall I did intensive exploration on my cultural identity, trying to ease myself psychologically into the pending trip.  I'm bracing myself to return to my country of birth for the first time in 20 years. 

The hand over... there ain't no turning back now! 

 Hi, Mom.

 Chubby cheeks since November, '92.

At this point, I'm so thrilled to finally be on my way.  This has been the longest winter break ever, but actually I've appreciated the time to reflect (and tan).  I have to admit, though, that I'm scared.  I'm scared of misunderstandings, scared of feeling lost, scared of discovering things or not finding what I want, scared of wanting to fit in and not knowing how, and scared of feeling so different.  But this anxiety is overcome because I know that I have the endless support from my family and friends, their love and faith in me that has carried me this far.  It's going to be tough, but this is what I want to do, what I have to do.  My goal is to embrace China and any of its rough edges, and hopefully reconnect in some sense to my heritage.  Patience and an open mind will guide my way.

Thank you for taking this time to read this personal explanation of why going to China means so much to me.  I'm leaving tonight, at 9:45 from Boston with two other SLU girls in my program.  I still can't conceptualize this, but ready or not Shanghai... here I come.

On Travelling Alone

 The way the corporate media presents itself has over dramatized issues while desensitizing us at the same time.  I've arrived at a point where if I don't have enough time to scour the internet for multiple sources on a story, I tend to ignore the 'news' entirely.  Yet, this morning I heard my mom mention that a woman from New York City missing since this summer was found, dead, in Turkey (more on her can be found here).  It's a tragedy, something that our world is wrought with each day -- but this caught my attention more than normal.
I was disturbed not only because of the family Sarai Sierra has left, a husband and two children, but her travelling circumstances.  She was supposed to visit Turkey with a friend who no longer could afford the trip, so she went with the intentions of joining with locals she met through social media.  Of course there's a lot of room to speculate her intentions: why she decided to continue alone to a nation that's facing some unrest, why she would meet with strangers; but I'm not here to pass judgement.
I don't know how to articulate my frustration, helplessness and mourning; not only for her, but for the women of the world.  It's an issue as monolithic as that.  I'm upset because she was a travelling woman.  She went alone and could not come home.  WHY?  And in the same vein, it's like the woman who was beaten, raped and murdered in India, or the average 207,754 victims of sexual assault in the U.S. every year.  It's true, these incidents tend to be isolated, and I can't blame the region she was in (the Islamic Middle East), because this could happen (and has) just as easily in the United States.  Why can not women navigate through this world without the threat of slander, assault, violence?  I'm aggravated by my lack of words.
Again, this struck a chord because I'm leaving soon.  I have friends who have shared stories of close encounters, and my own memories of verbal harassment in the streets of Europe.  When I was in France, I applied for a travel grant and went to the south without telling my parents, as they didn't want me to apply in the first place for fear of my safety.  Nothing happened of course--I actually made friends with a group of travelling Canadians and Aussies-- yet there were moments of hesitation.  Travelling alone is one of the most exhilarating and liberating experiences one can do, but I want to be able to go where I please with my face forward, without glancing into every dark shadow uneasily.
Many women have done it.  I just took a class with an inspiring, keen and vivacious woman named Stephanie Elizondo Griest who wrote two novels about her solo travels through the world.  And by no means is this going to stop me from going the places I've dreamed of, but in spite of every precaution I could take, I despise that because I am a woman, this anxious corner of my mind will always remain.  You just never know what could happen, which is the draw and the setback.

 My thoughts and grief are with Sarai Sierra and her family and anyone who has ever felt that their safety, dignity and lives were at compromise because of who they are.  This world is truly a magnificent place, yet some people do not want others to go where they wish.

// end of rearing, nonsensical feminist rant.

Is my frustration properly directed?  Am I viewing this incorrectly?  I'm open to anyone's input and conversation, please, and I apologized for misplaced punctuation and disjointed syntax. sigh.

Online resources for travelling alone:

Single Trip Advisor

Solo Traveler Blog

Smarter Travel.com

An interview with Stephanie Griest on travelling sola

On another note, the Superbowl is today (and Ally's birthday, yipee!).  I don't understand football and nor do I have interest in pounding beers while corporations spend millions to brainwash our consumer minds, soo... where does that leave me?  I'm actually having a great day, it's so sunny and warm; I'm sorry for my apparent cynicism and overwrought angst.  Please excuse me while I guzzle another cocktail and smather cream cheese frosting on the carrot cake I baked this morning (if I don't eat it all first).

  Listening: "I Thought About You" by Frank Sinatra

To Live By

I found a suitable mantra for this illustration-like acrylic I did during my 24 hour painting spree.

Now I'm on the hunt for a correctly sized mat to post this in clear view.  I admit I'm fearful of sinking into a routine of idle indifference; I want to lead a life that's fulfilling for myself and hopefully impacts others in a positive sense on the way.  So I selected this quote as a reminder that passion, curiosity, and risk are worth the while.  

Listening: "Cult Logic" by Miike Snow (their album Happy to You is amazing for running and working out!)

Blooming in the North Country

 

 

 

Campus looks marvelous this time of year.  If only there weren't finals holding us back from enjoying it!  Haha just kidding, I fell asleep beneath the tree pictured above the other day... oh, how I adore spring.

I just finished my one and only final for the week, and I'm in the midst of writing a 7,000 word paper.  I feel relatively lucky compared to many of my friends who are cracked out and stressed from having exams every day.  I can't believe how quickly this semester slipped away, and I'm sad to see things go.. I mean, it's nice going home but I have so many opportunities and fantastic people to be around here.  I'll probably be burned out mid-summer, though in a different way from work.  Nevertheless, I know that we just need to take every stage in life as an adventure and in stride!  It's also nice knowing that I'll be back on campus at the end of summer rather than going abroad again.  Since we're going to be juniors(!!), many of my friends are now starting to study off campus.  I'll miss them immensely but I know that studying off-campus is one of the best things you can do for yourself while you're in college. 

That, and eating a pints of ice cream at 11 PM a few nights of the week.

Downward Slide

Aujourd’hui, j’ai mangé mon poids en nourriture et je me suis rendue compte que la France me manque plus que j’ai imaginé.  Bah oui, c’est ce temps du semestre.. quand je ne prends plus de souci avec ma santé et je m’en fous avec mes cours.  C’est vraiment un chemin dangereux mais ma stresse me tuerais autrement.  En plus, j’ai rencontre avec des autres amis de mon séjour en France et on a bavardé en cette belle langue au sujet de nos vies.  C’est un cadeau, la capacité de parler en langue étrangère.

Instagram, anyone?  I am quite the enthusiast and if my phone is ever in hand, my reaction tends to be Instagram that bitch!  For example, this photo was taken ages ago at the café where I  would enjoy tea or a coffee, a chouquette and the last week's homework before my 4-hour long political science class.  My French chatter today made me nostalgic for my life last semester.  What began as exploration and surprise became  comfortable routine, and sometimes I regret uprooting myself so soon...

And although I have settled back into U.S. college life swiftly as ever, the stress and activity can be unsettling.  I mean, we're on the downward slide of the semester; this Friday is the last day of classes, and then I will be leaving after finals week.  Of course I'm going to be devastated, I simply wish that my daily tasks didn't take so much life out of me!  This is where the argument of You are too involved comes into play, but I can't help that I love what I do and it's not just a resume-builder, it's interests and passions and my commitment to things tends to be unbreakable once it has been established (exceptional circumstances may apply)!  WHAT TO DO.

To give you a visual of now and what's to come:

Asian Students' Intercultural Association - President, this semester and next fall

Student Alumni Association - member, Deputy President next fall

The Laurentian Magazine - art/photo editor, Public Relations Editor next fall

Class of 2014 Council - member

Omicron Delta Kappa - newly inducted member, I think they'll force me to do things next fall..

Habitat for Humanity - Theme house resident, house and club secretary

Campus Kitchens Project - member, potentially a shift leader next fall

Club SLU - organizer and mentor

To any reader who feels empathy/sympathy-- how do I decided where to cut down?

I apologize for what seems to be gloating... My life seems hella tough, ya know? [sarcasm]

A Transformation We Seek

 

 

 

 

While on a fungal foray last week, we saw signs of spring in the form of scarlet caps and artist's conch and fiddlehead ferns and trout lillies.  Just as you think this world has grasped anew, two inches of wet snow sloshes in the sub-35 degree temperatures .  It seems that mother nature is hesitant to change, of letting go of what was, but shifting-- clamoring, for the break that will give way to something more.  And perceptibly better.

Dreaming with eyes wide open

You know how it is;

You've just had one of those experiences, the life-altering kind. Perhaps it was the amount of time it lasted, the people you were with, the things you saw, or the nature of what you did.  It was everything you felt.
Though of course, there has to be a return to "normalcy". Some transitions are more abrupt than others.
If you haven't guessed yet, I'm already yearning to relive the past 4 months of my life in France. I have issues with dwelling on the past, it's really something I should work on--but it freaks me out, because it feels like a dream.
Fortunately for me, it wasn't! Whether it is acknowledged or not, a part of me has changed. And although I prefer the tangibility of printed photos from film, handwritten letters and souvenirs to remember where I've been, I like that I have hundreds of digital photos that tell stories and Facebook to connect with my friends on the other side of the world.

I'm struggling with identity disjointedness [apparently a real word !].  I can't lie, when I left on December 16th I was ready to jump back into my American life.  There are things you take for granted when you're away from home for so long.  I realized this even more than I did when I left for college!  However, I feel like I'm cheating myself out; I feel like I've lost my 'French identity' already.  It's a mental turmoil, sorry I can't explain it that well.  But like I mentioned, my experience in France is now a part of me whether I can reconcile with it or not.  

These are photos from the last week I was there, the one above is the building where we took our classes.

The cafe I hung out in before political science every Tuesday.

My host family!

La Catedrale Notre Dame de Rouen

Going out with friends and taking advantage of "city life"!

And our ridiculous program group in general.

________________________________________

How do you summarize a trip like this...

It tends to come best in spurts.  At that moment, something I'm doing will trigger a memory of what I've done, then I'll laugh and relate it.  Trying to explain it as one long story is tough.  I just spent the last 1 1/2 actually going through my full set of photos with my parents, and we only made it through 3 weeks of my semester! 

I know people are interested, but it's almost uncomfortable because in general they probably don't... care.  Bad assumption, I know I can't apply that to everyone!!  Haha, the general formula of formality goes, "You went to France?!  Oh my god, did you love it?  How was it?"

How do you answer a question like that.  I'll tell ya---- 

"Yup, I was there for a semester!  It was amazing."

"Yeah, I think I'm fluent in French.  All the courses were in French, it wasn't too hard."

"Yes, the food was delicious... Enough baguettes for a lifetime!"

Cut me off right there because no one cares.  At least beyond that point.

Bah, and I understand!  My parents' eyes were probably glazing over but I have to say that I love them immensely for being patient to give me time to explain everything and expressing genuine interest.  And this blog, it's my other outlet of expression!  So whether you're truly engaged in what I'm writing about or not, I thank you sincerely for dropping by.

Oh la vache, I can't believe 2011 is over tomorrow.  What is everyone doing?

JUST before July

It's almost July! I needed to squeeze in one last post for June.

My friend Kristen laments on how she wished that August would arrive so we can all resume our dynamic college lives, but I'm in no hurry leave just yet.  Yes, home life can be suffocating, yet I'm trying this new thing where I take a step back and realize how grateful I am for the present. 

Took me long enough to figure that one out, eh? ;)
I work hard and I see the people I love; that I can not complain about.  I wish I was more satisfied though, because I always find myself dwelling and yearning for the past and how things used to be.  I realized that my attitudes towards the present realities can either be joyful and boundless, or turn painful and bitter.  Obviously we are shooting for the former.

So between these two attitudes, there seems to be a bit of a trade-off:

I despise my weakened mental resilience when it comes to exercise and how I don't maintain my body the way it used to be; I am frustrated by various restrictions in my life that I can't seem to overcome; I am saddened by the people who are losing priority in my eyes, as I am losing touch in theirs.

However,

I am proud of what I have learned throughout these last two years, and the progress that I still am making in all different areas of my life; I am thankful for a mind that has been expanded and a body that has healed itself; I am astounded at the maturity that has developed in my family relations, despite the occasional setback; I am invigorated by my friends who have stayed true and keep me going.

Oh, the contradiction of life.

Peace out, take care and see you in July :).

Samedi

You wake up with the sun drifting

under your eyelashes

today’s promises flooding

across your skin

a tugging smile

through your lips

pondering yesterday

[the mind knows no discretion].

So, a few musicians who's music has not failed in bringing up my mood:

the Friendly Fires

recommend: Strobe, Skeleton Boy, Jump in the Pool

Florence and the Machine
recommend: Cosmic Love, Drumming Song, Lungs

Kid Cudi

recommendations: Up Up & Away, Enter Galactic, Erase Me

The Strokes

recommendations: Anything!

 

Who is on your go-to playlist?
Currently: Lounging in a greenhouse-type study room, enjoying Saturday and clearly not doing my homework.

Strongly worded letters

Last night/this morning:

Dear drunk guys outside my door,

Why are you here right now. 

It is 2:45 in the goddamn night morning.  And you're all drunk, and hollering-- on a Tuesday!!!

No, the guy you're banging on the door for probably was sleeping like the rest of us.  No, he doesn't care that you brought your bikes upstairs with you.  Yes, other people on this floor are now awake and pissed and yes, someone called security on you.
And screw you for tearing down the calendar that our Community Assistant had so painstakingly made.

Best regards,

Peeved me.

Right now:

Dear residents next door,

Please stop banging or thumping or dribbling or hitting or whatever you're doing that's coming through all the walls.  They're quite thin and I'm tired and my roommate is trying to sleep.

Yours truly,

I should go to bed now too.

Hahahaha.  Dorm life.

I guess it's not as big of a deal as it sounds... I just love writing concise letters like that to random people :).

Otherwise, it has been a terrific first week back; I've been pro-active on my work, there's environmental speakers for Climate Change week, I learned how to make crane oragami for World Languages week and as a fundraiser for Japan relief, I ran my first hill workout Monday and speed/tempo workout today since October and even though it's still freezing, my bike is out!  

There are bikes everywhere, it's a beautiful thing.

I stand to be corrected.

I seem to be very good at obsessing over people from a distance.

Has that ever happened to you?
You see a person everywhere and you're unbearably compelled to make contact with them, to know them, to be their friend. You silently beg for their acknowledgement. I think I die a little inside whenever I see them, and I can't bring myself to say a thing.
Maybe one day.

Listening: "The End Has No End" by the Strokes

Oh, what to do.

I wouldn't mind packing up and strutting off towards the mountains at the moment.

It has been an atrociously long time since I've blogged! That always seems to be the case when I return to school, I fall off the blogging- and television-watching-boat. The former is more saddening.
I have to admit though, I love college.
My schedule has not been inherently stressful until this point, where we are a 1 1/2 weeks from Spring Break. It's bemusing-- a March Spring Break. I hope that the snow and ruddy season transition weather decides to blow through while we're gone. I can't wait for spring! I am finally running outside again (since Sunday!), realizing that I don't have to be a hamster around the indoor track to save my legs, as long as I avoid treacherously uneven footing; i.e., slush and rough ice. I am invigorated being outside, wearing a headband and finding dirt splotches on my leggings, sucking in cold air and at least starting out the run with my team.
I'm not going to assume a date for when I will participate in the workouts again. Hell, I don't even know what the four-week outdoor track season is going to result in. I spent the entire indoor season walking-jogging and helping rather than competing at the meets, but it's not like I'm disparaged. Just accepting.
Another note that's buzzing around campus is the housing selection process. Our randomized lottery numbers were delivered in the campus mail boxes today and it's basically a rite of passage that many rising sophomores are, sorry for the lack of a better term, shafted during the housing process. That's mainly because it goes in hierarchical order. Hahaha I honestly cannot comprehend how my lottery number is 624 because our class only has 616 students!
Well, I am somewhat assured that this defunct set of digits is inconsequential because I have applied to study abroad next fall. Where, through which program?
To the France program that involves host stays in Rouen and Senegal! No big surprise there, haha.
My heart is sewn there; I'm a self-declared Francophile, I'll probably expatriate from this country one day (...just kidding). Though there are many more opportunities as a collegiate exchange student, that of which I need to take advantage of.
So if I am accepted into the program, I will no longer be concerned with fall semester housing at this school.
If I am rejected from the program, it will be the biggest fml of 2011 thus far.

Clearly I have a lot of ramble about. I'm going to post soon about different things I have learned in my classes, sort of to reassert to myself that I am learning here, and I am becoming more intellectual. Maybe it attaining knowledge becomes more effortless when you aren't coerced into it. Who knows.

I'm procrastinating on a take home test!!! Some things just never change. I have to go.
Have a nice night, whoever is reading this :)

p.s. Finally figured out why Blogger wasn't pulling up on my Firefox Beta, so now I can easily blog once more! YES YES YESSSS

Everyday is a Daydream

Just sitting here, eating broccoli, contemplating where the year of 2010 has gone.

I'm older, fatter and maybe wiser?

Still working some identity issues, but I'm enjoying the process. No resolutions this year; just a focus on becoming who I want to be-- someone that I love.

I wish you all the best this New Year's Eve-- party safely and drink a lot of sparkling stuff--and cheers to what 2011 shall bring!
Listening: "Waving Flag (World Cup Version)" by K'naan